Supermom Syndrome

Although I was a little too young to watch this show in its first airing, I loved watching Wonder Woman in reruns. Diana Prince appeared to be just a normal woman, that is, until a situation that required her super powers arose. Then, with a delicate spin of her body and flip of her hair, she was instantly transformed into a full-fledged super hero. I loved pretending to be her when I was younger. What girl didn’t? Not only did she have special powers, but she also wore a tiara (that doubled as a boomerang). Need I say more?

I would spin aimlessly around in the yard switching back and forth from normal girl into Wonder Woman, taking trips on my invisible plane, and lassoing all the imaginary bad guys. I even confess that I had the Wonder Woman “Underoos.” I was a fan.

Well, I am all grown up, married, and have two children, so I don’t pretend that I am a Wonder Woman any longer. That would be ridiculous! But sometimes, I do think that I need to be Supermom.

The pressure we women put on ourselves is incredible and unnecessary. We sometimes feel that we need to be perfect. We feel the outcome of our children is entirely based on our efforts. If we fail at even the slightest thing, we think that our children will be impacted negatively. We need to remember, there is no such thing as a perfect mother, but there is a perfect God.

Now don’t misunderstand, God has called us to be great parents. We are to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. We are to love them, nurture them, and train them up in the things of God. But, we are human, and we will make mistakes. In fact, if you are not a perfect mom, you are in good company. In Luke 2:41-46, we see an account of a not-so-perfect mother moment.

Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days, they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.

Many of you have read this scripture before, but did you realize that Jesus was missing for four days (one of which his mother didn’t even know he was gone). Mary, the example for all mothers, lost, or shall I say misplaced, her son, Jesus, for days. And despite the not-so-perfect mother moment, I think we can all agree that He turned out ok.

Ladies, we need to spend less time trying to get the “Parent of the Year” award and more time praying and trusting God for our children’s future. We need to lay aside our efforts to be Supermom, and focus on pointing our kids toward God, the only real super hero.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.    Proverbs 22:6

Raising This Generation Through Prayer

Isn't Mother's Day a great day where we can celebrate motherhood? I think back to the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time. Pure joy filled my heart. I was instantly in love. I knew that God had entrusted me with a special gift, and I would do anything and everything to keep this child safe. Not too far after the celebration began, I found myself in my first down on my face mother moment with God. I was just seven weeks pregnant. My husband and I were in a remote resort on the island of Antigua. We had a private bungalow on the beach – no television, no phones, no cell service. How romantic! Well, it was, until I started having symptoms of a miscarriage.

The romantic “baby moon” was suddenly turning into a nightmare. I sat in the tiny, open-aired lobby of the resort on the single hotel guest phone with my doctor back in Connecticut. I explained to him all my symptoms, and he explained that there was nothing I could do. A miscarriage was likely.

Tears streamed down my face. My heart began to ache. The situation seemed irreversible and out of my control, but not out of God’s. I was not giving up that easily. I turned to God in my utter sadness and desperation, and I pleaded with Him. He directed me to this passage of scripture found in Philippians 4:6-7:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Peace instantly filled me, although the symptoms continued. We had one more night on the island before we returned home. I just kept praying and believing that God would do a miracle. As soon as I got home, I went directly to the doctors, and to their surprise, not mine, I was still pregnant. And that baby is headed to high school this fall. God is so faithful!

I know some of you went through a similar experience, but your outcome was different than mine. I experienced just a glimpse of that pain and I’m deeply sorry.

You see, God allowed me to go through this trial because He was shaping me from the beginning as to what kind of mother I needed to be, that we all need to be . . . a mother of great prayer, interceding daily for her children. Our children need our prayer time. They need their mother to get on her knees and intercede and contend for them each and every day.

Paul, a master of living a life of prayer, instructs us in Colossians 4:1 to “devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” He later instructs us to "pray without ceasing." This is the greatest gift we can give our children.

This generation has access to such horrible things. Temptations like drugs, alcohol, smoking, and promiscuity are still prevalent, but this generation now deals with Internet access at their finger tips, cyber bullying, texting, camera phones, and all sorts of social media pressures. I won’t even get into the deterioration of television and movies today.

Our youth are in a battle. The Devil is coming after this generation hard. He’s very smart. God has a destiny and a plan for each child, and the enemy is fighting to stop him or her from fulfilling it. 1 Peter 5:8 says,

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

That “someone” is our children and we need to fight this with prayer!

PRAYER changes things.

PRAYER moves mountains.

PRAYER tugs on the heartstrings of God.

PRAYER calls things that are not as if they are.

PRAYER can impact history.

Ladies, I know mothering isn’t easy. We endure a lot. But we need to remember, the best gift we can give our kids is to pray for them with unwavering persistence.

God never called us to be perfect, but He did call us to be prayers!

The Crossroads of Decision

Generally in life, we move ahead with a steady rhythm and just go about our business. Life is at times a bit boring. But, boring is good. Boring is calm. We often take for granted the seasons in our life that are routine. We want excitement and newness and adventure. And just sometimes, we get exactly what we want. However, when change shows up, it's often more excitement then we can handle. Change is uncomfortable. Change makes us anxious. Change calls us to make decisions. In an effort to make the right one, we stay up all hours of the night contemplating the different angles, we list out the pros and cons, and hopefully we pray for direction.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I pray to God, I like an immediate response. One that is clear and very specific. Unfortunately, that is not the way God always works. Sometimes, we need to press in. Sometimes we need to spend more time on our knees. And often, we need to stop talking and just listen.

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. – Isaiah 30:21

God is always speaking to us. He speaks to us in a number of ways. The first way He speaks to us is through the scriptures in the Bible. The Bible is God’s instruction manual for life, providing answers to life’s most challenging questions. God also speaks to us through other believers. Or, He may choose to speak to us through visions or dreams.

And yes, He does speak to us audibly, but it may not be the loud bellowing voice we would expect. It may come in a still small voice or simply in an inner knowing. It is very important to be sensitive to His voice and discern if it is Him or our emotions.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. – John 10:27

Ladies, it is important to recognize that in all the ways He speaks, Gods will always give us peace if we are walking in His will. When you have God’s peace, you can take on the world. Things may be scary and new, but God’s peace gives us the boldness to live outside our comfort zone. No peace, stay put. Know peace, move forward.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. – Psalm 32:8

So Loved

Train wreck. Failure. Screw up. Loser. Worthless. Ugly. Useless. Fat. Hopeless. Stupid. Pathetic. Sinner. Have these words ever been spoken over you? Worse yet, are these words you have spoken over yourself? Words spoken over us shape the way we define ourselves. Truth disappears and perceived reality becomes truth. We then begin to define ourselves according to the wrong standard – a standard that is not from God.

The devil wants to make us feel insecure and keep us broken. He doesn’t want us to know that there is freedom from these lies through Christ Jesus. Hear me today – you are not defined by these words. You have a future with Christ Jesus. You are loved by the Father.

For God so loved the world that he gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

You need to understand that even if you were the only person on the planet, Jesus would have still died on the cross because of His immeasurable love for you. Jesus’ death is the ultimate gesture of love. You need to understand that nothing can separate you from the love of God.

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39

Some of you may be struggling with sins in your past and you may think that you have a legitimate reason to believe these negative words. God can turn the biggest catastrophe into a beautiful masterpiece, but you need to let Him. Make a choice today to believe what the Word of God says about you.

Right now, I want you to look yourself in the mirror and repeat after me:

I have a future with Jesus.

I am beautiful.

I have purpose.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

There is hope for me.

I am forgiven.

I am redeemed.

I am His.

I am LOVED.

In Name Only

During my freshman year at college, I was invited to join Phi Beta Kappa, which is the nation’s oldest academic honor society. At the time, I was very flattered and quickly accepted their invitation knowing that a honor like this looks great on a resumé. The honor society held monthly meetings, offered guest lecturer events, and hosted many social gatherings. Once I was inducted, I hardly ever attended these events, unless of course there was free food. I was too busy doing the things that I wanted to do and never made their events a priority. I am ashamed to confess that I only joined because of the benefit that it would provide me during my job hunting days. I was, in fact, a member in name only.

You may be laughing at me right now, but we have all done this. We’ve joined some organization, club, or group just because we wanted the benefits of being associated with them, but didn’t want to make a true commitment. Unfortunately, some people are Christians in name only, too.

If you ask them what their faith is, they will proudly declare that they are Christians. They have accepted Christ’s invitation for salvation, but neglect to move past this initial step. Sure, they may go to church occasionally and toss up a prayer from time to time, but that’s pretty much where it ends.

Interestingly, a recent poll suggests that nearly 80% of people living in the United States consider themselves Christians. I must admit that this number seems high to me considering morality is at an all time low. You see, having a relationship with Christ requires more than identifying yourself as a Christian. It involves allowing Christ to rule in your heart and, by His grace, turning away from the sinful nature and living a life that glorifies Him.

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. . . .You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." – Colossians 3:5-10

Ladies, I am not here to judge or question anyone’s authenticity with the Lord. What I want to do is encourage each of us to ask ourselves some hard questions. Are we really living our life for Christ? Are we standing up for the things of God and turning away from sin, even when culture says it is ok? Are our hearts set on things above? We need to decide if we are really one of Christ’s own, or simply a Christian in name only?

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."  Colossians 3:1-2

Renovation Project

I thought I would never do it again. But, I did. Each time I’ve gone through this, I’ve been certain that I wouldn’t put myself through it another time. And yet, here I am once again, about to start another home improvement project. I so love the end result, but the process to get there requires more energy and patience than I admittedly want to take on. It’s always the same thing. It appears that it is going to be a quick project. Promises of minimal disruption are made, even guaranteed. But, the second demolition starts, my faith in the contractor’s promises starts to waver, and mostly for good reason. The renovation site usually looks like a meteor crashed into it. I try to focus on the finished product, but the dust and disruption are more than this neat freak can tolerate.

Interestingly, the renovation process reminds me of what God does in the life of a Christian. He likes to do some improvements of His own. You see, salvation is free and instant, but becoming more like Christ takes a lifetime. This pursuit consists of a series of renovation projects where God destroys the areas that don’t glorify Him and then rebuilds you in His image.

The first stage, demolition, is always the toughest. It requires breaking down walls or strongholds that need to go. During this phase, I too look like a meteor hit me. I feel beat down and weak. I don’t always understand God’s methods and sometimes can’t see the bigger picture. Recognizing that I only see part of His master plan, I try not to doubt His tactics. I must keep my eyes on the Lord and meditate on scripture.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." – Isaiah 55:8-9

Next, comes the rebuilding stage. This is where God gets to recreate that area of my life in His image. Sounds easy enough, but it requires change and letting go of some strong habits. I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the harder this is for me. Change is uncomfortable and makes me uneasy, but the final product is always worth the temporary discomfort.

By the time you get to stage three, the finishing touches, I promise you it gets a little easier. You catch a glimpse of the final product. Your faith begins to rise, your resolve starts to strengthen, and you push forward until you reach the finish line. God completes His renovation project in you and creates a beautiful masterpiece.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

He is Risen!

Every Easter, it is the same routine. First thing in the morning, I call my parents to wish them a happy Easter and my father answers the phone, “He is risen.” I quickly reply, “He is risen indeed!” This little exchange may sound like an endearing moment between a father and daughter, but it is more than that. It is an acknowledgement and declaration of the most powerful moment in history – the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Savior. Savior, that’s right, Savior. This isn’t a word that you hear too often outside of the church walls. Why do we need a Savior? You may think “my life is not perfect, but I don’t need any saving.” Well, according to Romans 3:23, we:

“all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.”

Sin separates us from God. Accepting Jesus as the Son of God and acknowledging Him wipes those sins away and restores our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Jesus was and is the ultimate sacrifice. Some of you may be thinking that what you’ve done is too severe to be forgiven. That is not true. He endured a horrific death on the cross so that all mankind would be set free. All we need to do is receive this gift by faith.

“For the wages of the sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus.”-Roman 6:23

Everyone has a choice and opportunity to invite Jesus into her life. But, it is not just words recited out of obligation; it is a change in our hearts to receive the gift of Jesus Christ. If this free gift is something you would like to receive today, then pray something like this:

Jesus, I thank you for what you did for me that day nearly 2,000 years ago. I believe you are the Son of God, that you died on the cross, and that You rose again. I invite you into my life and submit to you. Forgive me of all my sins, known and unknown, and help me live a life that glorifies You. In Jesus' precious name, amen.

If you just said this prayer and you meant it with all your heart, you are now saved and are a child of God. If this is the first time you've said a prayer like this, you may ask, "Now what”? Get into a Bible-based church, study God's Word, and turn away from sin.

“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”-Romans 10:13

The Battle of the Scale (by Guest Blogger Shila Anderson)

The scale isn’t too nice to me today. I try to rationalize the number staring back at me. Did I have too many sweets? Were my portions out of control? Or just maybe it’s my body’s natural tendency to store the fat during the cold, frigid temperatures? I know as I step off the scale that I have a choice to make today. Is this number going to dictate my worth? Is it going to affect my mood and everyone that comes in contact with me? Or am I going to look past this number and know this number does not define who I am?

I’ve made the wrong choice in the past, too many times to count. My days were filled with bitterness, self-loathing, and insecurity. I would search all day for someone, anyone, to tell me I looked beautiful. I would hunger for attention. I’d try to gain approval by what people thought about how I looked. Anything to make up for that awful number that stared at me from the scale.

“How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?” – John 5:44

Other days, I would just throw in the towel. What’s the point of all this eating healthy and exercising if it’s just not working? Maybe I’m just meant to be heavy. I would spend the day pigging out and filling my body with food that never really satisfied my soul.

Neither of these choices worked in my favor. They always left me empty. I was focusing on me, me, me. I was still making that silly number on the scale my idol for that day – the thing I thought about ALL DAY LONG. The scale would win.

Today, I’m going to make a different choice. I’m not going to let that number define me. I will continue on the healthy journey that God has set before me, I won’t give that up. But mainly, I will focus on who I am, not what the scale says I am. Today, I will feed myself with God’s Word, not chocolate. I will read my Bible, read my devotionals, and have good prayer time that isn’t focused on me. What does God want me to do today for His glory? It’s amazing how much more can I do for God when I’m not focused on myself?

Ladies, if you have ever gotten yourself into a battle with the scale, take this vow with me - I WILL win the battle of the scale, because I’m not going to let it define who I am. I am a child of the most high God. I am a princess. I have worth. I am loved. I am wonderfully made!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:4

(Thank you Shila, for this wonderful word. I know many women can relate to this battle.)

Standing Strong

March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Well, in Connecticut, we are definitely still in the lion phase, as evidenced by the strong winds and snowstorm we just experienced. One morning last week, I had a rare opportunity to just sit. Snow was still blanketing my backyard and the winds were howling fiercely, but the sun was shining. So I decided to take a few moments out of my busy day and just enjoy the beauty of the outdoors.

I stared out my back window and was mesmerized by the trees in the woods swaying from side to side. They moved in perfect harmony as the wind blew around them. Interestingly, as much as they bent and swayed, these trees were in no danger of falling. These particular trees are mature trees, deeply rooted in the ground. A branch may fall off from time to time, but these trees stand strong.

As I watched this seemingly insignificant nature moment, my mind drew a parallel from what was happening with the trees to the life of a Christian. You see, everyone experiences howling winds from time to time. They are unavoidable. In fact, scripture says we are to expect them. But, those whose foundation is deeply rooted in Christ will not fall.

I personally have experienced these types of winds many times throughout my life. Even though I wished I could have stopped them while they were blowing, I look back and recognize that the Lord was with me through the storms. He never left my side. My faith and my trust were deeply rooted in Him, and Him alone.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8

So, how do we grow deep roots? How do we become women of God that aren’t going to cower at the storms that come our way? First, we need to study the scriptures and all His glorious promises. We need to get these scriptures from our mouth, to our head, and to our hearts so that we can remain steadfast.

Second, we need to spend time with Him in prayer so that He can build us up and strengthen us. We need to be building our faith muscles during the moments of calm. This is only accomplished through uninterrupted time with Him.

Lastly, we truly need to comprehend the depth and intensity of God’s love for us. Once we wrap our heads around that, we can endure any storm that comes our way knowing that our Heavenly Father is in control of our lives.

Ladies, when the winds begin to blow – and I promise you they will – remember you will not fall over if you are deeply rooted in Him. As long as you make God number one in your life, He has got you. You may bend, you may sway, you may even lose a branch, but you will endure the storm and stand strong.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught. – Colossians 2:6-7

The Power of the Tongue

We are all guilty. I’ve done it more times than I care to admit and I’m sure you have too. It just happens. And like that, the words are out. You can apologize, but you can’t take them back. You can never truly repair the damage words can cause. Words hurt. They hit deep. God has called us to be masters of our tongue and the words that are generated from it. We are to use our words to build up and encourage one other, not tear one another down. The tongue has power. In fact, according to Proverbs 18:21:

“The tongue has the power of life and death.”

People don’t always understand the tremendous power and impact that their words actually have. I was so disheartened at a recent middle school basketball game I attended. I arrived at my son’s game a little early and the coach from the game before was speaking to his team after they just had a tough loss.

Instead of trying to point out the positives and encourage these boys to work harder the following week, he decided to let them know how “embarrassed he was” of their performance on the court. He continued to berate them letting them all know that he “was not paid to be their coach” and that they were “wasting his time.”

Wow! I’m sure those kids felt built up after that pep talk. The coach had an opportunity to encourage his team, yet he chose to use his words as a weapon instead of a life-giving source.

We all are careless with our words and say things we shouldn’t from time to time. But, we need to realize that exercising control of our tongue is an intentional practice. It doesn’t occur by happenstance. It requires work and wisdom from above. We need to start our day asking the Holy Spirit to guide our words and conversations. We have a responsibility of speaking life and spreading love to this world.

Ladies, ask yourself, “what do I want my words to accomplish?” I don’t know about you, but I want to speak hope into the hopeless, life into the lifeless, joy into the downcast, and peace into the fear stricken. I want my words to bring healing to the broken. There are so many broken people out there that just need a kind word to set them back on course. I want to be a woman who delivers that kind word. This won’t happen by chance. It requires discipline and total reliance on God.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

Social Media Fraud

Social media, love it or hate it, is here to stay. Using social media, like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, is an excellent way of connecting with friends, family, and acquaintances or marketing businesses and products. Unfortunately, it can also trigger unnecessary emotions. Social media typically only chronicles the happy moments in one’s life, the achievements and accomplishments. You may scroll down your newsfeed any particular day and see little Joey’s high academic achievement, Ellen’s 50 pound weight loss transformation, or a family’s beautiful cruise to the Caribbean. And, how about those gourmet meals and meticulously staged homes!

Seeing these posts can cause feelings of envy and inadequacy. Actually, they can make you feel down right depressed. Normally, you couldn’t care less if tonight’s dinner was photo worthy. You were just happy that everyone in your house was fed. That is, until you compared it to the photos on Pinterest.

Comparison is a recipe for disaster. It stirs up emotions inside of us that make us think that we need to measure up to some ridiculous standard. This, in turn, fuels competition. God has called us women to support each other and bring out the best in one another, not to compete with one another.

Women competing with each other is not a new concept. Take a look at Rachel and Leah in the book of Genesis. They were sisters who married the same man, Jacob. Talk about awkward! Jacob loved Rachel more, and Leah knew it. But, Rachel was barren. In an effort to feel loved, Leah kept popping babies out like it was a sport. They were constantly competing for attention and affection. Thank God this was before the days of Facebook. Could you imagine those posts?

“The strategy of the enemy is to get women to compete and tear each other down. God’s plan is for us to lean in to each other’s strengths.” – Christine Caine

Although social media is not the only thing that triggers competition in women, it certainly is a major one. With that said, we need to understand that what we are seeing is just a snapshot of someone’s life. No one’s life is perfect.

So, in an effort to stop the propagation of social media fraud, this week I have included a picture that I would normally never include on a posting. It is a picture that is more relatable than the most of the postings I see. It is a pile of laundry. Actually, it is several loads of laundry. It is clean, but it has been piling up there all week.

Even though I have moments of success, today I choose to show that we are all human. Ladies, we are all on the same team. Let’s start building each other up instead of tearing each other down!

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man [or woman] sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

The Green-Eyed Monster

Today, I would like to talk about the infamous Green-Eyed Monster. Please don’t confuse this with The Green Monster, the thirty-seven foot high, left field wall at Fenway Park. I want to talk about that evil emotion that rears it ugly head when we see other people’s successes or advantages. I want to talk about JEALOUSY. Jealousy seems to target women at all stages of life. It starts at adolescence, when one child sees another child with a toy she doesn’t have, and although she already has plenty, she feels saddened that she doesn’t have that particular one.

Jealousy later continues into the teen years and into womanhood. Women, young and old alike, can be resentful of another’s physique, appearance, talents, clothes, economic status, and yes, even spiritual gifting. This list can go on and on.

Although this is a common emotion, it is an emotion that God does not approve of. The Bible speaks numerous times about having an attitude of contentment, being happy with what you have and not coveting what someone else has. The Word of God unmistakably teaches us in James 3:16 that,

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” 

Jealousy leads us to do things that we normally wouldn’t do – things that we shouldn’t do. In an effort to feel better about ourselves, we tear down the person we are jealous of. We focus on all their shortcomings, just to rationalize, in our own head, why we aren’t as good in that particular area.

Or, we choose to chase after things that God didn’t intend for us. We place unrealistic goals and expectations on ourselves that we clearly can’t meet. Wanting to better yourself is admirable. Wanting to better yourself in order to measure up to someone else’s standards is dangerous territory. God’s standard is the only standard we should pursue.

Ladies, I want each of you to know that God has designed you uniquely. He has deposited a combination of qualities in you that no one on the planet has except you. There is a purpose for each of us, but we need to stop coveting and striving to be someone we are not.

Look at God's creations. Are the mountains any more beautiful than the sand covered beaches? Each creation is beautiful in its own way. Embrace your uniqueness. Stop trying to be the beach when you’re supposed to be the mountain.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful.” – Psalm 139:13-14

Through the Fire

Are you going through a difficult situation? Are you wondering where God is in the midst of this hardship? Perhaps, you are suffering with pain or sickness. Maybe, you’re barely able to make ends meet financially. Is your marriage hanging on by a thread? Has your child turned his back on God? You wonder,

God, do you even hear me or is it that you just don’t care about me? 

I realize that these trying times certainly can be discouraging. I understand. I have been there. But in these moments, we need to draw into God like never before.

We must continually remind ourselves that, with God, there is always purpose in every situation, even if we can’t see it. Do we dare live outside our understanding and trust Him unconditionally?

When my faith begins to waver, and my heart becomes overwhelmed, I cry out to the Lord, and He answers me with His Word. I am reminded that I am not alone in this battle. He is always with me.

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze” – Isaiah 43:1-2

All I know is that God loves me dearly. He obviously has a purpose for the challenges I go through. Once you truly grasp Christ’s love for you and that He has a perfect plan for your life, you will have peace knowing He is in control.

As much as we all dislike them, trials are an essential part of every Christian life. Spiritual growth and faith develop most in the seasons of difficulty. Jesus may allow us to go through the fire to make us stronger. And even though you sometimes can’t feel His presence, remember God promises:

 “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." - Hebrews 13:5

Say Something

Have you ever been in the midst of a pleasant conversation when all of sudden the mood changes? Maybe the women around you start gossiping about another woman or a family in town. Or maybe they suggest pulling one over on Uncle Sam because who’s going to know anyway. Or perhaps, the conversation switches to a topic that you know God would definitely not approve of. I hate those moments. I get a knot deep in my stomach. What do I do? I have a few options. I can join in and rationalize my participation. I can sit quietly and pray the conversation changes quickly. Or, I can say something because my silence means I condone or agree with what is being said.

But, to be completely honest, sometimes I just don’t want to say anything. I know what they are going to think – goody two shoes is at it again. And then I hear the Holy Spirit tug inside of me:

Are you just going to sit there or are you going to say something?

I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life. He brings conviction when I need it most. When we recognize sin and remain silent, we are no better than the person doing it. In fact, God will hold us more accountable because we know better.

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” – James 4:17

But frankly, people don’t like to be told that what they are doing is wrong, even if it is done in love. And yes, it has to be done in love. If you enjoy bringing correction, then it is not done in the right spirit. Our purpose is solely to point people to Christ.

Please understand, I’m not suggesting that I have it all together and never mess up. That’s crazy! And I so appreciate the people in my life who keep me in check. What I am saying is that God has called us to stand up and defend Him, even if you are the only voice in the crowd.

Ladies, I have news for you. Taking a stand for Jesus and defending Him can be a lonely place. A place where offenses develop and friendships can be lost, possibly forever. Jesus, more than anyone, understands those feelings of loneliness and isolation. He experienced them first hand when he walked the earth.

But take courage. There is a special inheritance waiting for those who don’t compromise and take a stand for Him. You may feel all alone at times, but He is always with you.

“God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.” Matthew 5:10

Fifty Hangers of Love

It is so unsettling to hear about all the marriages that are struggling today. I guess it is not surprising because it is a successful strategy of the devil to attack marriages, destroy the family structure, and leave wounded adults and children in the aftermath. It is important to be wise to the enemy’s tactics because he uses pop culture to fuel marital tension.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8

Television, movies, and books distort romance, indoctrinating us with false ideas of what intimacy and love look like. They create unrealistic standards that neither spouse can live up to. If your husband doesn’t meet pop culture’s idea of romance, it could leave you feeling under appreciated, unloved, and vulnerable to temptation.

Romance is not some tawdry affair like some recent book-to-movie would like to propagate. It isn’t a sensual affair with a controlling, abusive man, even if he is wearing a suit and tie (sorry Christian Grey). It is a journey of mutual submission and respect, where love grows because you work at it. It is where you value the other person more highly than yourself.

Also, romance doesn’t have to be a candlelit dinner, strolls across the beach, or weekend getaways. Please don’t misunderstand – these are all great. But, romance can also be snuggling in bed with your husband and kids watching a Disney movie or stacking wood together in the backyard. True love is about feeling safe, understood, and valued.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I felt it appropriate to share with you my most memorable Valentine’s Day. It was eleven years ago, and we had just moved into our new home. The house we lived in previously was a restored 1908 home. If you know anything about houses from this era, you would know that there weren’t any closets. Like, none! So, when we designed our new house, I was more than excited to include an oversized, walk-in closet in the plans.

Now, Valentine’s Day comes rolling around and my husband comes in with a beautifully wrapped gift in hand and a childish smirk on his face. I unwrap the paper to see the strangest Valentine’s Day gift ever – 50 wooden hangers. Before I could even respond, he went around the corner, grabbed another box, and handed me another similarly wrapped box. You guessed it – 50 more hangers. This ritual repeated until we had enough hangers to replace all those plastic and wiry ones currently in our closet.

To a normal woman, the response to this odd gesture of love might have been a slap in the face. But for me, it was the perfect gift. My husband had heard me say time and time again that I wanted these hangers to finish off the new closet, but I couldn’t justify the cost with so many other things needed in the new house.

My husband listened to me. He heard me. He understood me. And he wanted to make me happy. And for those reasons, I will remember this Valentine’s Day forever. Since then, I have received wonderful gifts for Valentine’s Day, but none will ever replace how loved I felt the year of the hangers.

Ladies, we need to keep in mind that a successful marriage does not evolve in a two hour Hallmark movie. Marriage is about the duration, submitting yourself fully to the other person. It involves communicating your feelings, sacrificing your needs and wants for the other person, and loving even when you don’t feel like it.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:6

Forgive Me?

I don’t claim to be a perfect parent by any means. However, there is one exercise that I introduced to my kids when they were little that I am happy that I started. You see, every time one of my kids hurt, annoyed, or did something to the other that warranted an apology, I would make them say they were sorry and ask the other, “Do you forgive me?” With that, the offended child would reply, “Yes, I forgive you.” And of course, a good, old-fashioned Landmon hug would follow. Sounds simple, right? Well, yes and no. These weren’t just words that I made my kids recite to one another out of duty. I wanted to teach them the practice of learning how to ask for forgiveness, while at the same time, freely extending it. At this early age, I wanted to stress the importance of this freeing truth so that later in life, when the offenses were a little more serious, they would be able to extend forgiveness without hesitation.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

Forgiveness is a big deal. In fact, the word forgiveness and similar derivatives are mentioned over 100 times in the Bible. Why? Because God knew how important this act is for the well being of His people. In fact, God not only suggests it, but commands us to do so.

Don’t be confused, forgiveness doesn’t condone or excuse the other person’s behavior. It simply releases the hurt that a person inflicts upon you and hands it over to God. When you hang on to bitterness and resentment, you prevent your spirit from sustaining the life God intended.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:14-15

The reason we forgive is to protect our relationship with God. If we choose not to forgive others, Jesus will not forgive us our sins. Without the forgiveness of our sins, it creates eternal separation from God.

Ladies, I know many of you have been hurt far beyond the trivial dealings of sibling disputes, but the principle remains the same. Maybe you’ve been hurt by a friend, a relative, or even your spouse. You feel betrayed and wounded. Bitterness and anger have risen up inside of you.

You may be thinking it is impossible to forgive what has been done to you. I can assure you that God sees the heartache and the emotional scars in your lives, and yet He still requires you to forgive. But be encouraged. God will always equip you to do what He has commanded you to do if you rely on Him for strength.

Please forgive me for saying this, but it’s time to let go and let God handle it!

Think About That

Sleepovers. Don’t you just love them? Put a bunch of hormone-crazed girls in a room, jack them up on sugar, deprive them of sleep, and then hope for the best. I remember one sleepover in particular from my childhood. The effects of it lasted weeks, if not months. But, I’ll get to that in a minute. Being a Christian woman isn’t easy. Life is hard. It is constantly presenting different circumstances that test our faith, some real, while others are just an attack on our emotions of what could happen. One moment we are fine, the next we are a worrying mess. I particularly find this scripture in Philippians 4:6-7 comforting during those moments.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

What assurance we have as children of the living God. He promises us His peace no matter what situation we go through. I have gone to this passage, time and time again, in the midst of trials and moments of fearfulness. We need to remember that God never promised that we wouldn’t pass through difficult waters, but He does promise to be with us through them and give us His peace.

For years, I would just reflect on this passage of scripture without reading it in its whole context. I thought I just had to pray, with a thankful heart, and God would protect my heart and mind from any fearful thoughts. That is, until I continued to read on in Philippians 4:8.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

The Word of God instructs us to keep our minds focused on uplifting things because what you feed your spirit affects your thought life! What you see, talk about, and listen to become what you think about. If it doesn’t meet the criteria from the scripture above, get rid of it. The scripture doesn’t say, whatever is full of fear, whatever is depressing, whatever is worrisome, whatever is gory – think on these things. No!

We need to protect our emotions and put a guard over our eyes and ears. Stop watching all those crime scene investigation programs full of horrific bloodshed or dramatic love stories where the young woman dies of some rare disease. That’s not entertaining or romantic! Those fear-filled images and depressing storylines create anxiety. They can invade your mind when you least expect it.

I learned this lesson back at that sleepover nearly thirty years ago. I left that party with more than just a goody bag full of candy. Some of the girls thought it would be fun to watch a horror movie. Although we only watched ten minutes before we turned it off out of sheer terror, it was enough to invade my thoughts and dreams for quite some time. It created a new level of fear in me for things that I didn’t even know could happen.

Ladies, it’s time to do some spiritual housekeeping. Examine your books, Facebook page, television shows, movies, music, and conversations. Make sure you aren’t inviting negative thoughts into your life. Let’s entertain ourselves only with things that are excellent or praiseworthy . . . and think about that!

Time to Start Playing Offense

It seems like everywhere I go, I run into a woman who is is struggling with fear. I must admit, there was a period in my life when I struggled too. I am not just someone who speaks hypothetically about the battle with fear; I am a woman who was right on the front lines. But after years of feeling at the mercy of my emotions, I discovered a valuable truth.

The devil is smart, timely, and crafty, but he is not original!

He deliberately attacks women in the area of emotions because he knows that he will have the greatest success. Women are sensitive, we nurture, and we love deeply. God made us this way, which is why the devil likes to target those areas.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, Paul warns that “no temptation has seized you except for what is common to man” or, in our case, woman. Recognizing that I was not alone in this battle brought great relief for me. There wasn’t something wrong with me. I was just another victim of Satan’s lies.

In Matthew 4, we see Jesus, a man, being tempted in areas dealing with physical needs like hunger, emotional needs like security, and psychological needs like significance. Men are different. Women are made differently, and although we too can be targeted in these areas, we are mostly attacked in the way we feel.

So what? Why am I telling you this? Because with knowledge comes freedom. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life a slave to the devil and his deceptions. We must recognize that he is coming for us.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8

How do we win this war against women? First, we must recognize we are in a battle and we need to start fighting. We start by playing defense. When the lies pour in, and they will, combat them with truth – truth from scripture. Declare His glorious promises over you and your loved ones.

“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7

This is a great strategy. But just like in sports, you can’t win unless you also have a strong offense. Ladies, we need to stop just playing defense. We can’t just sit around and wait for the next anxious thought to come our way and then pray it away. Instead, we need to build ourselves up in advance, creating a strong identity of who we are in Christ.

We do this by going back to the basics. Read the Word of God each day. Familiarize yourself with His promises for your life. Spend time with Him in prayer, so that you can truly learn about His character, hear His voice, and understand His undeniable love for you. Once you grasp these fundamental truths, your emotions will be strengthened. Stop waiting for the next attack to come and let’s start playing offense.

“Draw Near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:8

Faith is a Choice!

I turned on the news the other day only hear of yet another tragedy. My heart aches for those involved in the tragic killings in France. It seems like we are surrounded with bad news, and it is nearly impossible to step away from it. It’s logical to react with feelings of fear and anxiety. Plus, the media does a great job of informing us of all the things that can go wrong in our lives:  terrorist attacks, shootings, plane crashes, and Ebola outbreaks, to name a few. To make matters worse, the devil likes to take advantage of these tragedies and harass us with a spirit of “what if.”

You know “what if.” I am certain he is no stranger to many of you. He disrupts your peace and coyly whispers in your ears:

         What if something happens to my children?

         What if my blood work comes back badly?

         What if I can’t pay my bills?

         What if terrorists strike in our country?

         What if my husband leaves me?

         What if I am alone the rest of my life?

         What if I fail?

         What if _______? (You fill in the blank)

He robs you of your sleep and your peace. Peace is one of the best gifts that God gives to us. Unfortunately, fear is very prevalent, especially in women. We are emotional beings, very feeling and nurturing, so the devil knows exactly how to attack us – in our emotions. As women of faith, we need to fight back with faith in God, faith in His Word, and faith in His promises.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

We need to recognize that faith isn’t something we just naturally flow in. It’s a choice we must make each day, just like choosing which shoes to wear. Stilettos or sandals of peace?

You are not just going to wake up one morning and no longer have fear. We are surrounded by fear triggers. Turn on the news, read the paper, hear about a dear friend who has just been diagnosed with cancer.

We need to reprogram our natural thought default setting to one that defaults to God’s promises, not “What if that happens to me?” As 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, we have the power to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

You are fearless not because you don’t have fears, but because you choose to live above them. Faith is a choice!

God First in 2015

Have you ever felt disillusioned by another new year? You stayed awake until midnight to watch the ball drop, but the challenges that faced you in 2014 are still there in 2015. The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing while expecting a different result. We keep asking God for breakthrough in our lives, but we don't change our approach. I like to kick off each new year by giving God the first portion of it by participating in Daniel’s Fast. Daniel was an amazing man of God who lived in exile in Babylon, but never wavered in his faith and commitment toward God. God used him mightily in the midst of an evil, morally bankrupt land.

Some of you might not realize that Daniel was only 16 years old when he was taken from Jerusalem and dropped in the middle of the sin-filled culture of the Babylonians. He was just a boy. Actually, he was only two years older than my son is right now, and yet he set himself apart to be used for God’s holy purposes.

King Nebuchadnezzar ordered that the young men who showed aptitude for learning were to be trained for three years in the ways of the Babylonians. These men in training were to eat from the king’s choice foods and later used for the king’s service. Daniel was one of these young men.

“But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.” – Daniel 1:8

Daniel had decided in his heart to not participate in any pagan rituals and to keep God first in his life. For you see, the food that he was to be served was likely sacrificed to false gods. He, along with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, found favor in the eyes of one of the officials, and they were allowed to eat only fruits and vegetables and drink only water for ten days. The results were amazing.

“At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food . . . To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.” – Daniel 1:15, 17

God’s favor was clearly on Daniel. Besides the health benefits, God rewarded Daniel with awesome spiritual revelation and the gift of prophesy. He served in key leadership roles in the Babylonian government for 60 years.

We, too, can expect the same results when we make God first in our lives and separate ourselves for a season of prayer and fasting. By fasting, we send God a message that our spiritual needs are far more important than our physical desires. The result will bring spiritual breakthrough, wisdom, and a clearer understanding of God’s word.

When you fast, your body will hurt, you’ll become irritable, and spiritual attacks will arise. But, the reward is so great that it is worth the discomfort. I know many of you are looking for breakthrough in various areas of your lives – your marriage, finances, or health perhaps. And yet, you continue to approach these obstacles the same way.

His word says if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. Today, I challenge you to take a step toward changing the way you have always done things and see how God moves in your life. Give Him the first of your year through increased prayer and fasting and see just how much favor He bestows upon you by the time that ball drops at the end of 2015.